By: Kaylie Mancino
Terror runs amuck on the Purchase campus as a number of students have reported sightings of Freddy Krueger, the infamous murderer who has slaughtered over 60 civilians, within their dreams as well as spots such as the Dining Hall, the library, and The Hub.
Sophomore journalism major and intern for The Purchase Phoenix, Jennifer Ward, said, “I fell asleep and woke up with scratch marks on my stomach and shoulders. Then, I walked to The Hub and saw him standing on the burger line.”
He was seen to be wearing a black hoodie and Converse sneakers, his outfit missing his well-known fedora and striped long sleeve.
“It was as if he was trying to blend in with the students here,” Ward said. “He even walked to the woods with a group of freshmen Visual Arts majors.”
Though Krueger was believed to have died several times in the past, he appears to be alive and well in 2022. Layla Paras, a sophomore history major, has spoken to Krueger on several occasions.
“He came up to me in the quad and asked me if I had a lighter,” she said. “And when I said no, he came up to me in my dreams and slashed me right in the face. My roommate had to call an ambulance because I nearly bled out on my twin XL mattress.”
Krueger has been called out for sporting illegal weapons such as a glove with sharp, knife-like talons attached. According to Barbara Kay, a junior journalism major and editor for The Purchase Phoenix, he waved it in her face and threatened to slaughter her in her sleep if she didn’t publish an article about him.
Regardless of the threatening encounter, this article was written of the Purchase Phoenix’s own accord.
Krueger’s career on campus hangs in the balance as the construction of Broadview commences. “Since he was born in 1942,” Kay stated, “he fits the age requirements to potentially live there next year. Who knows? You may see him in your classrooms.”
Paras gave a final statement upon her return from the White Plains emergency room, offering advice to her fellow students. “Whatever you do, don’t go to sleep. I know it’s not likely since it’s midterm season, but for the love of God, please don’t fall asleep.”
*Editor’s note: The events depicted in this story are a work of fiction, photos have been edited. Have a happy Halloween!