By Natalie Tulloch
It has been one week since former One Direction singer Liam Payne passed away, and students at Purchase College are reflecting on a loss from their childhood.
Liam Payne at The Fashion Awards 2022 at the Royal Albert Hall on Dec. 5, 2022, in London, England. (Photo from Getty Images)
Isabella Clayton, a sophomore film major, recalls One Direction having a big impact on her when she was younger. “As a little girl, it was almost like looking at gods… it was like, who you want to be, and also who you want,” said Clayton.
Although the band had an impact on Clayton as a child she feels disconnected from Payne and his death. “My childhood self was a little bit sad, more than like, who I am now,” Clayton said.
“Everyone has problems relating to their mental health, no matter who you are, I don't care how much money you have, how famous you are, how attractive and successful you are… we're all struggling in some way,” said Kyler Charles-Midonnet, a junior psychology major.
Payne passed away at the age of 31 on Oct. 16 after falling from his hotel balcony in Buenos Aires, Argentina. The autopsy reports his cause of death to be “multiple traumas and internal and external bleeding.” Drugs such as cocaine, benzodiazepine, crack, and “pink cocaine” were reportedly found in his system.
Payne traveled to Argentina for a vacation with his girlfriend, Kate Cassidy, and they stayed at the CasaSur Palermo Hotel, the site of his death. Cassidy left two days before his passing, explaining in a recent TikTok, “I hate staying in one place for too long… and I was just like, I need to go home,” said Cassidy in the video.
The local news outlet, La Nacion, reported that the hotel manager contacted the police prior to Payne’s death, citing “an aggressive man who could be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” Photos of Payne’s hotel room surfaced, showing a smashed television, alcohol, and drug paraphernalia.
“Growing up it was fun to listen to a lot of One Direction music… they were just a good band for kids to listen to and have fun playing around with,” said Sarah Gottesfeld, a sophomore dance major.
“I think a lot of entertainers have substance abuse issues, because you're pressured to have so much energy all the time, and you don't have time to sleep or eat well so it's like where do you get that energy from like where do you get that source of happiness from,” said Gottesfeld.
Payne was born on Aug. 29, 1993, in Wolverhampton, England. He first auditioned for “The X Factor” in 2008 but was turned away when Simon Cowell told him he was too young. Payne returned in 2010 and was later grouped with fellow contestants Harry Styles, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, and Zayn Malik to form One Direction.
From left to right, Zayn Malik, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson and Nial Horan from One Direction with their Awards in the press room at the 2014 Brit Awards. (Photo by Ian West/PA Media)
They gained popularity through the show, and after finishing third place, they were signed to Syco Music, a record label owned by Cowell. Their debut single, "What Makes You Beautiful,” was released on Sept. 11, 2011, and became an instant hit, topping the charts in several countries. Together they went on to break records and sell out stadiums and arenas.
After the group's hiatus in late 2015, Liam pursued a solo career, releasing several singles and his debut album “LP1” in 2019, which featured a mix of pop, hip-hop, and dance music. He also collaborated with artists like Zedd and Quavo, earning hits like “Get Low” and "Strip That Down."
Payne was open about his struggles with mental health, addiction, and the pressures of fame. In 2021, on The Diary of A CEO podcast, Payne admitted to having past drug and mental health issues.
“I was worried how far my rock bottom was going to be. Where’s rock bottom for me?” Payne said. “And you would never have seen it. I’m very good at hiding it. No one would ever have seen it.” In 2023, he went to YouTube to reveal that he had finished 100 days in rehab and was six months sober.
Some students view Payne’s death as an opportunity to reflect on the darker side of the entertainment industry and the complexities of parasocial relationships. “Use this as an opportunity to learn how harmful the industry is,” said Marin Tyree, a sophomore journalism student.
Tyree continued, “It’s sad, but at the same time, it’s not like you actually knew him. You have to acknowledge there’s a parasocial relationship there."
In the days leading up to Payne's death, his ex-fiancée, Maya Henry, issued a cease-and-desist order against him. Henry accused Payne of repeatedly contacting her, as well as her mother and friends.
Henry claims that Payne used multiple phone numbers and iCloud accounts in order to contact her. Henry also claims that Payne has admitted that he “preys on One Direction fans because they will always be loyal to him and they won’t tell on him.”
This follows “Looking Forward,” a book Henry released in May 2024, inspired by personal journals she wrote during the COVID lockdown. The novel follows Mallory, a young woman navigating a toxic relationship with an abusive, addicted pop star named Oliver. Henry has acknowledged experiencing a similar situation, which resulted in her suffering from hemorrhaging.
Some students are marveled at the backlash Henry has received since Payne’s death. “The way his fans have defended his actions and even gone as far as blaming his ex in her Instagram comments for his death is outrageous," said Bobbi Kirkwood, a sophomore sociology major. "What if this man did this to your friend, sister, mother, cousin, or even yourself, and the whole world defends him and blames you for his death just cause they liked him in a boy band?”
“I think a lot of fans who are ‘grieving’ need to look at themselves and unpack their parasocial relationship and want to defend an abuser,” Kirkwood said.
Reflecting on the mixed emotions surrounding Liam Payne's death, Kelly Gleeson, a Purchase alumnus from the class of 2024 said, “I think some people feel weird about mourning his death because of the allegations against him," said Kelly Gleeson, a Purchase alumnus from the class of 2024, reflecting on the mixed emotions surrounding Payne's death.
Gleeson continued, "I think it's possible to acknowledge the things he has [done] but also feel sadness for the loss his friends and family are feeling; because at the end of the day, somebody lost a friend, son, and father.”
Payne is survived by his 7-year-old son, Bear Grey Payne, and his family, which includes his mother, Karen Payne, and his father, Geoff Payne. He also leaves behind his younger sisters, Ruth and Nicole Payne.
If you're dealing with grief, consider visiting the Counseling and Behavioral Services located in the lower level of the Humanities building, or call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline for substance abuse assistance at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
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